Sexx Box

The HPV Vaccine and Gay Men

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 18:10:00 -0500

What’s the deal with HPV vaccines for gay men?

The deal is this: The FDA recommends Gardasil, a vaccine against the most common strains of HPV, for use on girls and women ages 9-26. While the FDA does not go to the same length as to recommend the vaccine for boys and men in that same age bracket, it has been approved for use on boys and men. (Merck, the manufacturer of Gardasil, just concluded a longitudinal study that proved the vaccine to have a 90% effectiveness rate in males in the prevention of developing genital warts.)

What is problematic is that there is no current test to screen for HPV in men. If men have genital warts, they may be visibly detectable. But because there is no test for men, and because not all strains of HPV are visibly detectable, a man can pass on HPV without knowing he has it. The reality is that most sexually active people will contract HPV at some point in their lives; many without ever knowing it.

The human papillomavirus in men can develop into anal, penile, or, in some rarer cases, throat cancer. Though the virus doesn’t discriminate based upon orientation or biology, men who have sex with men stand a greatly increased risk of developing anal cancer. The rate of anal cancer in the general population is estimated at 0.9 per 100,000, but when you track the rate of anal cancer in the specific population of men who have sex with men, it’s occurrence skyrockets to 35 out of every 100,000. (The CDC estimates that men who have sex with men are about 17 times more likely to develop anal cancer than men who only have sex with women.)

Though there is currently no screening tool to detect HPV in men, if you’re worried about anal cancer, there is something called ‘anal papilloma screening’ or an ‘anal pap’ for short, which can detect pre-cancerous developments. Ask your health care provider about getting one.

The Gardasil vaccine is only considered effective for those who have yet to become sexually active. HPV and it’s link to anal cancer is a recent development and more studies should be forthcoming, so it’s important to stay on top of new research as it’s published. And though using a condom will not prevent infection, it can greatly reduce your risk of infection.

Telling A Former Partner You Have an STI

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 15:22:00 -0500

I was recently diagnosed with HPV, the strain that causes genital warts. I’ve only had sexual contact with one person and we broke up five months ago. Now I’m wondering if I should tell him. I feel like I need to, but I don’t really know how to go about doing it.

I’m sorry to hear about your infection. Did you know, however, that you’re in good company? The Center for Disease Control estimates that more than 50% of the sexually active population will contract the human papillomavirus at some point in their lives. (Other estimates put the figure of those who will contract the virus at 75%.)

The strains which can lead to genital warts are considered ‘low risk’— they will not lead to cancer if left undetected or untreated.

You feel like you need to tell your former partner, and you should. Here’s why:

It can take weeks, months, or more than a year after sexual contact with someone infected with HPV for warts to appear. And there are currently no tests to detect HPV in men. What this means is that your former partner may be a silent carrier of HPV and may unknowingly spread it to future partners. He may not know if he has HPV because he could remain asymptomatic. By letting him know that you not only have HPV, but most likely contracted it from him*, you are giving him an opportunity to make more informed decisions about his sex life— which will hopefully result in him putting a halt to unknowingly infecting others. (Using a condom can reduce the risk of infection but is not guaranteed to prevent infection.)

HPV is as common in men as it is in women, yet without nearly the same negative impacts on men’s health. (I know! As if those rabidly misogynistic Republicans in the House currently wreaking havoc on women’s health care weren’t enough of a force to contend with, HPV’s gotta be picking on the ladies too.)

The best way to tell him is by keeping it short and simple and staying on point. A letter or email should suffice. Something succinct and along the lines of “Hey, I know this is unexpected, but I recently found out during a routine check-up that I’ve tested positive for HPV, for the strain which causes genital warts. It’s not serious, but it is important for you to know, because the virus can be spread even without the presence of warts. You and I have a sexual history, and I thought it important for you to know you may have it.” You can pass along some of the facts that I shared in this post if you feel they would be helpful for him to have.

Good luck.

*Research indicates that babies can contract HPV from their mothers during delivery.

Amanda Palmer "Map of Tasmania"

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 12:25:00 -0500

Amanda Palmer "Map of Tasmania":

Several months ago, someone wrote in to ask about if most women shave their pubic hair, wondering if men found the shaved look attractive.

Amanda Palmer offers a number of variations on the theme of how to fashion the pubes in this video.

(My undying appreciation to the genius that forwarded me this link.)

ohdarkthirty: (by Rhiannon)

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 12:21:25 -0500

ohdarkthirty:

(by Rhiannon)

Photo

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 15:05:49 -0500

While we’re on the topic of birth control…

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:55:00 -0500

While we’re on the topic of birth control…

You Talk About Birth Control

Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:32:00 -0500

I asked you/the internet to share your experiences re: birth control. My intention was to re-post what I hoped would be a fairly diverse collection of stories. Each person is different— precious little snowflakes of biochemical diversity we all are, and as such, another person’s experience won’t necessarily be predictive of your own. Nonetheless, I think there’s something worthwhile in creating a space for women to share their experiences re: birth control. Other readers may find their experiences echoed here, and some may find leads on birth control options they’d like to talk more with their doctor about.

Thank you to everyone who took time to write in. Here are your stories:

I use Nuva Ring and love it. I don’t have any negative side effects, and my physical and emotional symptoms of PMS are much more manageable since I started the ring.
Before that I was on Mircette (a low estrogen pill) which I am pretty sure was partially responsible for insane emotional erraticism. Though that may just have been college. I tried Alesse and had dry heaves. My first birth control pill was Ortho Tri-Cyclen which I hated. I gained 10 pounds and cried all the time.
I have generally had good experiences with both latex and polyurethane condoms (the latter because I had a latex sensitivity for the first year that I was sexually active.)

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I had a really bad problem with my sex drive while on birth control. I took Seasonique and Ortho Tri-Cyclen. I had NO sex drive at all, which kinda defeated the purpose. I went on a very, very, low hormone pill (it started with a “D” but I can’t remember the full name) and my sex drive was a little better, however, when I came off the low-dose, my sex drive came back with a ROAR! I never had problems as far as spotting, or flow, or missed periods went, but I’ve always been regular. My best friend used the Depo Provera patch and the Nuvaring. The patch always fell off, and the ring came out all the time, especially during sexy times.

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I’ve been on Triphasil and on Yaz. Overall my experiences have been fine, though since I’ve been on the Pill since I was 16 (now almost 33), I don’t know what I’d be like off it.

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I’ve been on Alesse, Mircette, Ortho Tri-cyclen and Ortho Tri-cyclen Lo. All of them made my menstrual migraines so severe that I spent several days in the hospital. I switched to NuvaRing and loved it for years…but it killed my sex drive dead. My husband and I were only having sex once every three months.

I attempted to get a hormone-free IUD, but my uterus was too small for Paraguard (I’m only 5 feet tall, so it’s probably just because I’m small).

So my husband and I are stuck with non-latex condoms (because I’m also sensitive to latex). It’s crazy— all the birth control options out there, and only one works for me.

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I was on Cyclessa (a tri phasic) for 2 years, it gradually sapped away my sex drive. Took a year off and was then on Aviane for 4 years, which was perfect in every way except that is also sapped away my sex drive to nothing at the end. Have been using condoms for the past 4 months, it’s hard going back (but if the alternative was never wanting sex, worth it).

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I was on two different pills—Loestrin FE and…something else (it’s been ages). I didn’t like either of those because they killed the libido. Then I went on Implanon (an arm implant thing similar to Norplant) which was okay for a while, and then I started having my period all.the.time. Like seriously, every other week or so. That sucked. I had the Norplant removed, and ever since I’ve been just using condoms, which I also hate. There’s really no winning.

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I’ve been on Trivora (horrible side effect of feeling pregnant all the time, and I feel awful when I’m pregnant), Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo (amazing, no side effects other than maybe some weight gain), and now the Mirena IUD (which I love).

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I’m really bad about remembering to take pills, so I can’t take any BC pills at all. I take Depo Provera, which a lot of women have mixed stories about—but it’s only been great for me. I don’t have periods AT ALL. My libido goes down, which is great for someone who has a super high one, and no cramps or anything.
Basically I have no negative side effects at all.

I plan on going on it again next month. I’ve been off it just a few months, and I can’t take all this blood.

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I’ve been on the pill for like seven years and never had a real issue with it- I took Levlen, then switched to the generic Levora, and now I’m on the same dosage of a pill called Portia. No ill effects for me.

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I had bad experiences with Marvel and Ortho Tri-Cyclen but I have been on Alesse for 7 years and like it fine enough.
I get a wicked headache if I take it straight through to skip a period, but when I don’t do that, it’s fine.
(Aviane is the generic brand of Alesse)

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Not having been pregnant ever, just about everything works for me (hah.)
But I was on Yaz for like, the greatest year ever. I didn’t get my period once, and I had perfect skin.
I tried Junel for about six weeks before I just refused to take it because of all the yeast infections it gave me. It also killed my sex drive, and just about dried me up.

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I was on Depo Provera patch a long time ago…I hated it because the edges would rub and get lint from my clothes. So that didn’t last long. Then I tried the pill, and I got three week long periods. Not the kind of birth control I was hoping for. So now I just stick to condoms. However, Trojan ecstasy condoms break like you wouldn’t believe. Totally sucks. So I’ve had to do the Plan B thing on 2 occasions. In other words, I’ve had rotten luck with birth control. Oh well.

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I was on Ovcon 35 about 5 years ago. I only took it for three months before I stopped and haven’t taken birth control since- the side effects were awful and half of them seemed to be the result of too many hormones (heart palpitations, depression, mood swings) and the other half seemed to be not enough hormones (breakthrough bleeding, starting my period the week before the placebo week, etc). I’m not extremely sexually active but I rely purely on condoms when I am, now.

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I have had good luck on Aviane, a bleh experience on Ortho Tri-Cyclen (weight gain, anger management problems, skin issues) and a horrifying experience on Yasmin (basically went insane, volcanic rage episodes, crazy crying jags, massive insomnia).
I’m sticking with Aviane.

Cruelty-free Condoms?

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:22:00 -0500

I’m wondering if condoms have animal ingredients in them or not— I heard that they did. Does it depend on the brand or something? What about the ones you distribute around campus- do they contain animal ingredients? Thanks.

I currently distribute Lifestyles Ultra Lubricated brand on campus. It is a latex condom. There are trace amounts of casein (a protein derived from milk) potentially present in some of the Lifestyle condoms, though Lifestyle claims on their website that their latex condoms are “virtually 100% natural rubber latex, the origin of which is a tree.”

To peruse a collection of vegan condoms and other safe sex supplies and sex toys, try visiting www.thesensualvegan.com.

10% of the proceeds from every buttplug purchase goes to PETA.

An Open Thread on Birth Control

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 11:27:00 -0500

Hello there!

Let’s try an experiment:

The topic is birth control.

I’m interested in hearing about your experiences with birth control. Love it or hate it, there are times in many women’s lives when daily birth control is integral. So I’m curious to know the following:

—What has worked well for you? (Please include brands or types of birth control.)

—What has not worked well for you?

Though I always recommend that each woman discuss her birth control options with her Ob/Gyn, primary care physician or other medical professional, I realize that not every woman emerges from those consultations feeling she’s received enough information to make as informed a decision as she’d like. So let’s take it to a poll. Share your experiences by replying to this post. If you don’t have a Tumblr, then submit your experience by clicking the ‘Ask Me Anything’ tab at the top of this post to respond. Thanks in advance!

What's the Deal with the Prostate?

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 19:05:00 -0500

What’s the deal with the prostate? What’s the best way to get into contact with it?

I love how your question makes me think of communicating with the prostate.

You: I need to get in touch with the prostate!

Me: Try emailing him. The bastard’s phone is never on.

Here’s an illustration of the male reproductive system. (You’ll find the prostate gland midway between the pubic bone and the rectal cavity.)

The best way to stimulate the prostate gland is through the anus. Some men are able to orgasm through stimulation of the prostate gland alone, either by massaging the prostate, or through receptive anal sex (playing catcher instead of pitcher.)

You can massage the prostate with a finger or prostate massager—the perfect holiday gift for that hard-to-buy-for man in your life! (Sometimes a finger isn’t long enough to make contact with the prostate gland.)

A man can massage his own prostate with the help of a prostate massager. To stimulate the prostate, circular motion (rather than thrusting) is ideal. Prostate massagers can also be dildos, butt-plugs or g-spot vibrators: a panoply of options!

In case you were interested in something other than getting off, the prostate is a gland that carries urine to the bladder as well as producing and secreting fluid, some of which becomes part of semen.

There is an antigen in prostatic fluid that is a key player in reproduction. It serves to dissolve the gel that encases sperm once inside the vagina. When the gel is dissolved, the sperm can begin their stampede towards the uterus.

Feeling the NuvaRing During Sex

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 11:31:00 -0500

I use the NuvaRing. Will my partner feel it during sex?

It’s possible that your partner may feel it during sex. According to NuvaRing, clinical trials revealed that 10% of couples felt the device during intercourse. If the NuvaRing is felt by your partner or falls out during intercourse, you can take it out for up to three hours without compromising its effectiveness.

This answer was made possible with information provided by Women to Women.

Stephin Merritt/The Magnetic Fields. “Nothing Matters...

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 11:16:28 -0500

Stephin Merritt/The Magnetic Fields. “Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing”

Photo

Fri, 17 Dec 2010 09:40:28 -0500

Higher HIV Transmission Rate in Men Who Have Sex with Men

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 16:40:00 -0500

How is the HIV virus passed through homosexual activity? I’ve heard that HIV/AIDS has a higher transmission rate among male homosexuals, and was wondering how that works?

There is a higher HIV infection rate in gay men. The higher infection rate is attributable not to biological vulnerability but rather to the higher prevalence of HIV infection among gay and bisexual men— affectionately termed ‘MSM’ (for men who have sex with men.) Additionally, the type of sexual contact one has may put one at greater risk for HIV contraction. For example, unprotected anal sex carries with it a higher propensity for infection because small cuts or tears are common around the rectum. Not all men who have sex with men engage in anal sex— but for those that do, wearing a condom is a must.

One of the factors contributing to a higher rate of HIV infection among MSM is an increased complacency among younger MSM. The younger generation did not come of age during the early AIDS epidemic of the 1980’s, nor did they come of age in the immediate aftermath when most sex ed campaigns heralded AIDS as certain death. Additionally, advances in medical treatment for those living with HIV may contribute to a false sense of security among the younger generation, causing them not to perceive the virus as a formidable threat to health and mortality.

Research indicates that though some MSM know their HIV positive status and take necessary precautions (including disclosing their status and practicing safe sex), there are MSM who don’t know that they’re HIV positive and are unknowingly passing it to others. Additionally, some MSM make wrongful assumptions as to their partners’ HIV negative status.

It is critical that all sexually active men who have sex with other men get tested for HIV at least once a year.

Anal sex is just one mode of transmission for HIV. Though the chances of HIV transmission through oral sex are much less significant than with anal sex, there are still documented cases.

In short: Know your status, know your partner’s status, and practice safe sex.

For more information on confidential and anonymous HIV testing and counseling, contact Downeast Aids Network (DEAN) at (207) 667-3506 or at www.downeastaidsnetwork.homestead.com. For COA students, Scottie from DEAN will be coming to campus on Thursday, January 20th, for HIV testing. More information to follow.

This post was made possible with information from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

The Compulsion to Love Jerks

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 10:28:00 -0500

Why am I only attracted to jerks? Mean guys suck but nice guys are a turn off…what’s wrong with me? [from a woman]

Tale as old as time, sister. But it doesn’t have to be like that— not by a long shot. The short version of the story is that at some point in your psychological development you most likely internalized the belief that you only deserved love if you were taking care of or rescuing someone else; and that your feelings were inconsequential. There are a number of potential origins for this entrenched belief. Your subconscious may be mirroring relationship dynamics that were prevalent in your family.

Many of us forge our relationship skills based on the behavior we were surrounded by in our families of origin, and it’s often not until we emerge from that sometimes dysfunctional cocoon that we realize something’s not working.

In relationship, do you tend to seek out people who are troubled? Are you compelled by the opportunity to take care of someone? Some theorize that those entrenched in dysfunctional relationship patterns are not only repeating patterns modeled during their formative years, but are also seeking the love and attention they missed out on growing up. Meaning, the deep attraction you feel to that dark brooding jerk is really a manifestation of your unmet needs for love and validation.

Unfortunately, duplicating dysfunctional relationship patterns only serves to further validate the message that the love you receive has to come at such a high cost, and that you’re only worthy of love if you’re taking care of or rescuing someone. And while these dysfunctional relationships reinforce feelings of low self-worth and rejection for you, they also reinforce the message for the other person that they can’t take care of themselves, that they need to be rescued, and that their autonomy is marginal at best. In essence, you have two people futilely searching the other for vital aspects of themselves. This is not a healthy relationship.

Freud’s concept of ‘repetition compulsion’ speaks to this dynamic. In repetition compulsion, a person seeks to revisit or re-experience a traumatic event. Some posit this return to past pain is to allow an opportunity for mastery over what was previously a traumatic event.

If any of this sounds familiar or resonates for you, take heart. You can’t go back and get a do-over. None of us get to choose the family we’re born into. But you do have from this moment forward to begin discovering for yourself the love that you are so deserving of. It will be your task to discover that unconditional love that you missed out on growing up, your task to learn to take care of yourself and to have that self-care be it’s own reward. There’s not a magic switch to flip and the change won’t happen overnight. The support of a mental health counselor may help, as you seek to redefine your personal boundaries and hone your relationship skills. It will be a process, but one that will be invaluable and will continue to enrich you and your relationships for the rest of your life. And someday that dark brooding jerk in the corner won’t be able to cast that old ancient spell on you. Good luck.

Hitting On My Friend

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 16:31:00 -0500

Do you think that my gay friend minds that I hit on him all the time? He’s just so beautiful. (I’m a girl.)

I’ve got no way of knowing how your friend feels about your behavior towards him. What do you mean by ‘hitting on him’? Have you been sitting a little too close to him during potluck night, wistfully playing with your lentils while batting your eyes, telling him you want to make out while ‘The xx’ plays in the background because Romy Madley Croft’s voice is deserving of the sublime experience that will surely be kissing his exquisite lips?

I’m a fan of honest communication. So if you’re truly concerned about the impact of your behavior on your friend, then ask him. Something along the lines of “How do you feel when I hit on you? I’m asking because I want to know if it bothers you.” If he responds honestly, you’ll have your answer.

Something to consider: How would you feel in your friend’s situation? If one of your friends constantly hit on you, despite knowing that you were not attracted to them, how would that make you feel? And if they justified their continuous yet unrealistic flirt campaign on the grounds that you’re just so damn beautiful?

Maybe you’d enjoy it. Maybe it would be fine with you. Or maybe not.

You came to a teeny tiny little college where there’s something along the lines of 2.3 women for each man in the student body, so I understand that gazing at your beautiful gay male friend may be as close as you come to any testosterone-type excitement for awhile. I recommend a study abroad program, preferably at a co-ed institution, or possibly in Alaska. I also recommend that your spring break destination be somewhere warmer and less muddy than Maine in March. Somewhere where the median age is younger than 43. Travel somewhere that, when you encounter a man you find to be beautiful, you’ll have a greater chance of getting more acquainted with him.

Bjork’s ‘Joga’. Mesmerizing as always.

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 11:51:00 -0500

Bjork’s ‘Joga’. Mesmerizing as always.

eatsleepdraw: Mechanical long tailed...

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 11:35:28 -0500

eatsleepdraw:

Mechanical long tailed tit

http://jennifermaidment.com/

Heather Has Two Daddies

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 17:45:25 -0500

Heather Has Two Daddies:

“Using stem cell technology, reproductive scientists in Texas, led by Dr. Richard R. Berhringer at the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, have produced male and female mice from two fathers.”

"Change your words into truths, then change that truth into love."

Fri, 10 Dec 2010 17:09:16 -0500

“Change your words into truths, then change that truth into love.”

- Stevie Wonder, ‘As’